January 21, 2017

This is the post excerpt.


Dear Ryan,

Some days go so smoothly.  The sun will be shining, I have a good day at work. Those days are easy for me.  But then there’s weeks that go by that the sun is hidden by dark clouds. Rain falls from the sky and from my eyes. Those days are the hardest for me.  I’ll hear a song that reminds me you’re gone.  I’ll hear a story about a brother and sister and be reminded you’re gone.

Christmas and New Year’s has come and gone. Christmas day was exhausting for me. I had no one to wake up bright and early.  I had no one to truly share 22 years of memories with. Doc and I got engaged & the first thing that crossed my mind was that you weren’t here to share this with.  Another milestone without you. I don’t understand how time keeps ticking by without any pause for the fact that you aren’t here with us anymore.

I wanted so bad to be able to stop the incessant tick-tock of the speeding clock.  But no prayer, no barter could achieve my deepest concern: living life without my closest friend, my brother. Every time something funny happens, every time Nan does something crazy, every time the Patriots lose, win, or whatever, I want to talk with  you, laugh with you, even cry with you.

I miss you so much, with every fiber of my being.  Every part of me looks for you every day.

I love you, Ryguy.  Always.  I have always been and always will be proud to be your sister.  Always.  Forever.


Author: flyhighryguy

I am sister without her baby brother, learning to live a new life.

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